i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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