Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
