Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
