Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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