the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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