and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize