walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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