I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
