Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize