those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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