Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
