Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
