just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
