So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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