dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
