batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Your cock deserves a montage
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
