5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
