i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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