you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
