OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
