He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
