I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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