apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
