So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize