I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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