I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
All I want is dick and wine.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
