omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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