Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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