Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
