Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
