Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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