he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm always down for nudity.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
