where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
