I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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