It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
