Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize