this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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