is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
