You really coming over, don't trick.
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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