either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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