i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
