i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
