Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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