We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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