It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
