You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
