is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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