why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
