Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Randomize
