I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
