had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
