is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
