I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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