Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
