i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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