and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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