U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
