hell yes lets make some ravioli
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
