when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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