We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Who died my cat blue again?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
