guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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